(Tig Notaro is a comedienne, and is a contributor on the Professor Blastoff podcast. A portion of a stand up she did was on This American Life. A link to purchase her show is on Louis CK’s site.)
Tig (we’re on a first name basis now) has been popping up a lot in my life lately. She was recommended to me by a friend because she had done a show about her mother’s passing, and since then I keep coming across her work.
In the most recent four months of her life, Tig: got pneumonia, had C-Dif in her intestines (a condition in which ALL the bacteria from one’s intestines is cleared out and you get very, very ill) lost her mother suddenly, went through a breakup, and discovered she had stage 2 cancer in both breasts.
…. I know.
I once heard that “good stories happen to people who can tell them.” Getting ill, losing your mother, and discovering you have cancer are not good stories, but Tig relates them in such a way that you have no choice but to look dead on at tragic events, and how much they trivialize everything else in comparison.
For example, she shares a story about a time she was getting an MRI (or similar screening) at the hospital, and the technician commented on how flat her stomach was and asked her what her “secret” was. This was immediately following her bout with C-Dif, after which she lost 20 lbs.
Despite all this, Tig Notaro chooses to live her life. She has enjoyed the most success in her career lately as well. After she discovered she had cancer, she chose to do a scheduled stand up show, because, to paraphrase, if she didn’t go through with it, she didn’t think she would be able to do it again. Instead of telling her usual jokes, she chose to share what was going on in her life, and the perspective it gave her.
I have been struggling, struggling, struggling when it comes to writing about Cambodia, particularly after my visit to America. Every day I feel myself, physically and mentally, making a conscious choice to be somewhere that is feeling increasingly less comfortable. Frustration and sadness threaten to simultaneously erupt from my chest. Things or events that would make me happy ion the past or carry me through the day are but brief flashes of lightening in a heat storm. I lie in my bed at the end of the day feeling very much alone and very much stuck.
In no way does my life or my frustrations even compare to what this woman is experiencing. I am absolutely inspired by the way she has chosen to live. It’s never good to compare feelings or situations, and I know what I am feeling is valid. However… I am picking a lane. I know I can make it through the next 9 months, and I know that if I were to go home, I would regret it, for much more than a day or a week.
I am choosing to suck it the f*ck up. I am choosing to be here and not focus energy on things I can’t change. I am choosing to adjust my inner monologue and breathe.
That’s all I got right now.
(But seriously, check out this episode of TAL. And check Tig out. She is so effing amazing. I’m so grateful to her sharing her story.) http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/476/what-doesnt-kill-you
❤
riskit2blossom 